Light
by Tallulah Grammar Songstress
Summary: Three short fics about Kaneda and Kei at different stages of their relationship.


(A/N: I wrote these three in a different order from how they're presented here, but they seemed to make a nice little sequence, so I put them together. They're all based on the manga rather than the movie, some more than others. Kaneda, Kei, Kai, Ryu and Chiyoko are not mine, they belong to Katsuhiro Otomo. In the third fic, I've kind of borrowed some of the characters from Sweet Valley High (very loosely) – they aren't mine either. Please read and review! Due to deciding to ban plus signs I can't use the normal acronym. I think I'm going to have to write 'break' in for a line break as well... I'm sorry, but I can't make the darned machine accept anything else )

Thoughts In Moonlight

"Don't you _dare _die on me!"

Kei's eyes flew open as she spoke, and the dream faded away.

Kaneda, eaten up by that white light…

She sat up, leant forward and rested her head on her knees. The air was sharply cold. She wrapped the torn sheet more tightly around herself.

He had no right to disappear and leave her to deal with things on her own!

_Listen to you. You were fine at dealing with things until he came along._

I was fine at dealing with things until the city got blitzed and everyone died or disappeared, _actually…_

She swallowed. Crying wouldn't help anyone at this point, including herself. The situation was too bad for crying. No one would come along saying _oh you poor baby, let me help you, _because everyone had problems of their own just as bad.

The floor of this room was dusty and tilted to the left, but she had curled herself into a corner and tried to sleep – well, doze, and listen for looters or killers. She was getting better at blocking out the cold and the fear…but she was always alert now, and she still had her gun, tucked under her torn, dusty shirt.

No doubt Kaneda would love the holes in her clothes.

She wondered how he'd take this situation. Some people had crumbled completely; they huddled on the ground playing with the stones. And some had given up civilisation and killed and raped and maimed as they wanted.

But of course, it was Kaneda's friend who had caused all this. Kaneda would be fighting against Tetsuo like she was. Kaneda had got inextricably tangled up in this and had died because she'd led him right to Ground Zero…

_Don't think like that._

She didn't _want _to be sad about Kaneda! He was a jerk! He was conceited and arrogant and stupid and he had made her look like an idiot and tried to hit on her _far _too many times and he goofed around and messed up and – and he had saved her life on at least one occasion and –

She didn't want him to be dead…he was no angel and he didn't make a good martyr – he was _meant _to be alive, he was only fifteen and, and he_ must _still be alive somewhere. Hiding, playing a joke on her, waiting till she broke down in tears and then saying _Gotcha! _And then she'd slap him so hard he'd be dizzy and then she'd throw her arms round him and maybe she'd cry a little, only a little, like she was doing now, _damn, _and then, no doubt he'd have got another bike from somewhere, so she'd climb onto it, put her arms round his waist – at least he'd be warm – and then they'd roar away from this city for good –

Hey, hang on a minute. That wasn't right. Drive away and leave Lady Miyako to hold back Tetsuo on her own? No. They'd have to stay. But she could live with that. After all, everyone she cared about was here too. The people of the resistance. Chiyoko.

Ryu.

At the thought of _him, _she suddenly felt guilty. She wasn't even sure if he was dead or alive, and yet instead of mourning him, he who had always stuck by her, given her a place to go and a purpose in life, who spoke to her like she was an adult and worried about her when she was gone – instead of wondering and pleading about his fate, she was getting teary-eyed over some stupid little delinquent boy who had never respected her one bit, had never respected anyone…

The darkness was as black as if someone had poured oil over the world. She'd never fully realised how much the lights of Neo-Tokyo had chased the darkness away – even the grungiest alleyway had had the orange city-glow in the sky above it – and now you looked out of your (broken) window and all you got was the moonlight, if you were lucky…a faint sobbing light that didn't even take the edge off the dark.

In the darkness she could admit to her real feelings for Ryu, the sparkling feeling she got whenever she was near him, the liking for his face and his strong eyes, the joy whenever he praised her.

But _that _was her secret. Kaneda was nothing. Kaneda was someone she had met briefly, shared a few scary experiences with, and then lost.

There was no need to be dreaming about him.

Candlelit Dinner

"Okay, think," Kaneda ordered Kai as they crossed the deserted street.

"About what?"

"Kei."

"What, in _that _way? Don't you mind –"

"About our anniversary."

"Anniversary?"

"Of the day we met," Kaneda said.

"The day you tried to hit on her in the Harukiya, she blanked you, and then we nearly all got crushed by random psychic powers?"

"Uh… yeah, that would be it." Kaneda glowered. "But it _is_ an anniversary and it… means something to her."

"Oh."

"Yeah, yeah, girls are funny, but the way I see it, if you've been through the annihilation of Tokyo, each other's almost- deaths, and a huge psychic vortex… seems kind of dumb to throw it all away just cos you forget a date."

"So… what do you want me to think about?" Kai said. "Seems you're doing fine with your own brain at the moment."

"Look around you."

Kai looked round the street, at the deep cracks in the ground, the shells of old skyscrapers, the weeds nibbling at the edges of everything, the blazing orange sunset.

"Yeah?"

"What am I supposed to do in _this_ city? Forget candlelit dinners and jewellery. It's hard enough finding stuff that hasn't been eaten by rats or pinched by rampaging mobs!"

"Oh." Kai kicked at the ground. "Oh yeah, I see what you mean."

"So as your leader I am _ordering _you to have an idea."

Kai shrugged. "I never remembered an anniversary even when Neo-Tokyo was still standing. Don't think I ever lasted long enough with a girl to have one."

"Me neither, but I don't want to tell her that." Kaneda sighed and kicked a stone down the pavement.

"Oh, come on," Kai said. "I mean, what's she gonna do? Like you said, you been through a lot together. She gonna dump you and go pick up some psycho with no teeth who'll just want to grope her in a wrecked building somewhere? I don't think so. She might be a bit pissed off, but –"

"I don't wanna risk it. Besides, this is _important. _I want her to think I'm worth it. What if she's having a deep think on this oh- so- important date and she decides it _wasn't _all worth it after all?"

(break)

"He could still go find someone else," Kei said to Chiyoko as they sat in the weed-choked courtyard. Kei picked at a bramble leaf which had fallen onto her shirt. "It's not like we're married, after all."

"Yet."

Kei giggled. "He's not that committed. I don't know… I want to make tonight special. I bet he's forgotten."

"Men often do."

"Seriously! I need to show him I care about him, but I don't want him to think I'm being sappy."

"Go down to the bars and see if you can swap something for some new laser rifle batteries."

"Mmm…"

"Well, the traditional presents aren't available," her aunt said. "No socks. No aftershave."

"Nothing," Kei said. "I've even run out of candles. But I'll think of something. I hope."

(break)

Darkness fell. Kei waited by the empty window frame of their room.

Footsteps on the stairs. Here he was.

"Kei? It's a little dark, isn't it?"

"No candles." She sighed.

He crept across to her. "Look, I… you know, I wanted to do something special for today – I remembered! Only… we're a bit down on our luck, so… but I _did _get hold of a candle. Somewhere. Well, I had it right here just a minute ago…" There was the sound of frantic searching, the scrape of a match, and then warm light filled the room. The candle in question was a white one, stuck into an old wine bottle.

"Where'd you get it?"

"I twisted Kai's arm till he decided he wanted to learn how to share. So that's the candlelit bit solved… though I guess dinner will just be soy beans and soup as usual. Sorry."  
"Oh, I don't know. Look what I managed to barter."

Kaneda grinned. "Chocolate… and sake? Now I know why I love you."

They sat down on the bare floor together, and Kei broke the chocolate bar in half. Then there was delicious silence for several moments.

"I haven't had chocolate for _ages," _Kaneda said at last.

"Me either."

He put his arms round her, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Happy anniversary," she said.

"Yeah." Kaneda poured them each a glass of sake. "To a year in which we've avoided getting squished, blown up, executed, conquered, shot, drowned or lost in a psychic vortex."

"Excellent year, then," Kei said, sipping hers.

He took her hand. "All right – to Kei! For being the best thing that's happened to me this year. By far."

He gulped back his drink, and kissed her. "Happy anniversary."

Kei kissed him back, and, smiling, let him start undoing her shirt.

The candle burnt lower. They didn't notice.

Angelfish Bay

_ "Todd, you don't understand! It's not –"_

_ "Girl, I understand everything."_

The music swelled, a stream of violins spewing out over the scene. Kei rolled her eyes at it, and sank back against the moth-eaten sofa. A few chunks of sponge dislodged themselves from the hole in its back that lay between her and Kaneda, and she slapped them off her clothes.

_"Bruce will never forgive us for this. He thinks it was his baby, Todd!"_

"That's tough, man," Kaneda said. "On the other hand, no maintenance payments…gotta be good…"

"I don't know what's the point of getting TV again," Kei said. "I swear they're beaming all the worst stuff over to Japan."

_"Bruce will have to accept it, Lila. I love you, and I'm gonna be with you, and he'll just have to let us be happy."_

"Probably trying to get us to surrender to the might of the UN armed forces." Kaneda snickered. "'Noooo! I'll give in to all your terms, just don't make me watch _Sweet Valley: Angelfish Bay _again!'"

"We could turn it off."

"And not find out what happens when Lila tells Todd she's not having his baby after all?"

"It's Bruce, not Todd."

"You've been _following _this shit?"

Kei sighed.

"You know, sometimes it feels like it wasn't really worth it," she said.

"Huh?"

"You know. We went through…quite a lot."

"No _duh."_

"I hated this city, you know. I only stayed after…everything happened…because it's ours. Like you said. But now…I mean, sure it's not the same as it was. But it's starting to become the same."

"You…lost me."

"I mean there's the same old crap on TV. There's the same people on the make and – and there's the same people being cold and hungry, and – sooner or later there'll be the same old juvenile delinquents failing the system –"

"Thank you," Kaneda said, doing a mock bow.

"And the same people being beaten down by the government for trying to make a difference."

"Yeah, but that hasn't happened yet, has it? I mean, come on, Kei. We survived, right? And it doesn't have to be like it was. People'll be smarter this time." He slid closer to her, took her hand. "Just cos you're kicking back and watching bad TV doesn't mean you're a failed resistance fighter, you know."

_"Todd…what happened with Jessica at the party? You told me –"_

"He got caught going down on her in the larder," Kaneda said.

"Kaneda!"

"Oh – sorry. Seriously, honey, don't worry about what's gonna happen next. Everything'll work out fine in the end, it did last time, right?"

"Yeah, but…" Kei swallowed, and started to pick at the frayed edge of the sofa. The thread unravelled over her fingers. "Things're different now."

_"How _are they different now?"

_"Lila, I swear to you, Jessica means nothing to me."_

"It's different," Kei whispered, not meeting his eyes, "very different, when you're going to be looking after someone else."

"Huh?"

_"Oh Todd…I wish we could stay like this forever…"_

"Kaneda, I'm going to have a baby."

_"If you love me, we're going to have forever."_


End file.
